Awake

This was the most painful yet. He could feel her warmth as if she was just beside him, but he knows that it’s not real. No one else was in his room but him. The only sound is the creak that his ceiling fan makes. It seems even the wind who normally visits his windows at night have taken the evening off. Maybe they knew that fate was to play her most wicked trick on him tonight and kept to themselves just to amplify the fact that he was alone.

He could remember the fruity smell she has whenever he holds her close. He remembers teasing her that she reminds him of candies he used to eat when he was young. He remembers how her scent would tell him she’s near. He remembers how her scent would make his heart skip a beat, how her scent makes his stomach acts funny in excitement with just one whiff.

But, who is she?

Day

“Dude, I think you should see a doctor for this… first time you told me of these dreams, I thought it was just bachelor fatigue. You know? Like you’re tired of being single and your body’s telling you to settle down already. Just to be sure, get checked bro. your not sleeping is already showing with how humongous your eye bugs are.”

He nods, half listening. He knows his friend means well. But the memories of the dreams have left him recalling each and every detail to find out what they mean. Maybe if he could piece them all together it would lead him to her. Maybe if he remembers all the symbols and signs, all the colors and shapes, they would show him how to find her.

“2 cappuccino’s for Cliff…”

“Hold that thought while I get those… Please don’t doze off while I get our coffee..”

Maybe he SHOULD see a doctor. Maybe he’d be better off forgetting all this insanity and live normal again, like how he lived the first 29 years of his life. Maybe then life would be better. Focus back at work, see his dreams of a successful career come true.

But maybe, life would not be as fulfilling, not complete. Maybe he would end up being miserable all his life knowing that what could have been the most important thing he could have in his life was something he asked a medical specialist take away. And maybe, he would end up not forgiving himself the rest of his life.

“Bro, we both know pain is inevitable, but we also both know suffering is optional. I’ve always looked at you to be more emotionally stable, this is SO unlike who I know you to be. Who are you and what’ve you done to my best friend?”

He smiles at the joke, but the images of how her hair flows with the wind as they both sat on mountaintops and watch sunsets in sandy beaches in his dreams fills his head.

Who is she?

Night

He hesitantly slides into bed, he’s not really sure if he dreads the pain he might feel when he wakes up without her or yearn for the opportunity to see her again. He stares blankly at the ceiling. The creaking of his fan sounds hypnotic repeating over and over again.

Maybe tonight, there won’t be dreams. Maybe last night would be the last. Maybe tonight is the first night everything would be back to normal. Maybe tonight…

Dream

He knows the scent. The scent tells him she’s here. He turns and he sees his angel smiling back at him. He stretches his hand towards her. She walks closer and holds his hand. He envelops her with his arms. She snuggles her head in his chest, enjoying every ounce of love he is showering her. He brushes her hair off her forehead and playfully kisses the bridge of her nose. Her eyes could melt him where he thinks he stands. She smiles and folds herself closer to his body.

“Let this not end”, he hears himself whispering. “Let every moment be as perfect as this”. She purrs in agreement. “Let this not…”

Awake

He had tears in his eyes. He didn’t realize he was crying until he felt his hand was wet after he brushed his eyes. He checks his phone to check what time it was.

“3:30…”

He stares blankly at the ceiling. The ceiling of his fan sounds hypnotic repeating over and over again. Images of what the dream brought kept repeating in his mind. He felt tired but the longing inside him would not let him sleep some more, his heart is afraid he’d forget the dream when he wakes up again in the morning. He holds his pillow closer, wishing it was her. He imagines himself stroking her hair… Touching her lips… Smelling her neck.

An irritating beep breaks the monotonous creaks of his fan. He reaches for his phone to turn off the alarm.

“6:00AM…”

Day

“Would you like to file for a break? I think I can give you 3 days starting tomorrow. Take a break. Fix whatever thing is bothering you right now. Take a vacation! Clear your mind!

I’ve always been straight with you and I’m telling you, you’re practically useless to me right now. Don’t take it too bad, you’ve always been one of my best performers but your quality of work has dwindled for the past quarter. Get yourself together and come back when you’re ok.”

He nods knowing his boss was right. Normally, he would be either number 1 or 2 in his team. He’s just thankful the big guy tries to understand that he’s just going through a slump.

He considers what a vacation could do for him. More importantly, he looks forward to the opportunity to possibly seeing her in a random place in a random time. His mind is flooded with the different possibilities that could happen, he didn’t even notice the signed form his boss was giving him approving his vacation.

If only he knew where to start…

Night

“Are you sure this can’t wait till tomorrow? Aren’t you rushing this a bit, anak?”

He was very sure when he confirmed the purchase of the ticket from his agent but hearing it from his mother made him have second thoughts. The general idea was to go somewhere far away. See a different place where no one knows his name.

Change. Yes, that was what he needed…

“Well, I know it will only be three days. I’m just worried because I didn’t hear you were planning a trip anytime soon. Surely you know I want you to have a good time there, just be careful, ok?”

He smiles appreciating how his mother still treats him like a child. He can’t blame her for worrying so he indulges her maternal protectiveness.

“Calling all passengers of flight DB-4890, this is your final call for boarding. Repeat, this is your final call for boarding. Your plane will be leaving in exactly 30 minutes…”

He kisses his mother goodbye and heads toward the gate.

He shows the flight attendant his ticket and she, in turn, points to the seat at the second row on the right beside the window. He stares out and sees the lights off the runway. It was a long day. He hopes that this break would really put things back in perspective. He realized that he has allowed this dream affect too much of his life. This has got to stop. He feels tired in every waking hour he has had for the past 3 months. He stifles a yawn.

“good evening ladies and gentlemen and welc…”

Dream

“Greetings. I am Morpheus and i welcome you again to my kingdom. This is my sister. We’ve watched you and the woman far too long. I must admit that your rendezvous with the fair maiden has been entertaining for us. Unfortunately, my dear sibling has something to tell you. Such sad news I fear.”

He was surprised by the two pale people in front of him. He looked around and tried to see if the girl was here. Surely she would be here, this is their usual place and time after all, if you can call it that.

“Dear brother it seems he still does not have grasp of the situation. I don’t think he realizes that it is his time…”

He looked back at the two people standing in front of him. He realized their names were in his head, how that happened he didn’t know.

“Dream?..”

Morpheus nods acknowledging the name others have known him for thousands of years.

“and Death…” he pronounces her name, realizing in the same instant what the sad news Morpheus has mentioned was.

In its irony, he asked himself how the dream that has made him more alive than anytime or anywhere else has had would also be the venue that his life would also be asked from him. He wished he could find the strength to fight it, but he knows his resolve would not last 5 minutes fending off what he thought inevitable.

To his right, the eldest of the endless drew near. Destiny looks at his two siblings and the guest forlorn at the news he just received. He remains quiet, almost unnoticed.

He looks at Dream, then Death, unable to voice the words that are begging to come out of his mouth. There was just one thing he wished to ask, something he wanted to know before he took his final breath. Tears rolled down his eyes as he used all remaining spirit to force out a sound, yet to no avail.

Dream nodded and said in a sad voice, “You need not exert more effort than you should. I know what your heart desires most at this moment. I know this is what you believe would make your life complete.”

Death reached for him. somehow he knew one touch from her was all it took for him to crossover between the realms of the brother to the sister's.

Dream added, “with your final breath, the least the king of dreams could grant as payment for the entertainment your love you and the woman shared has shown is to tell you her name.”

Happiness filled his heart. Finally, he would know. Finally…

“Her name is…”

Destiny touched him on his shoulder right before Death could.

Awake

He gasped, trying to catch his breath. He felt a huge weight was lifted off his chest. Half conscious he feels the chaotic excitement happening all around him.

“He’s awake! He’s awake!”

"Can you please step back an give him room!..."

"I don't exactly know what happened, he was sitting one minute, then he was on the floor the next!"

"i freaked out when i realized he wasn't breathing.."

He felt light headed, he opened his eyes and tried to squint, trying to focus on the shapes and different colors moving about. He tried to move his hand but it wouldn’t follow what he wished.

“Can someone get some water!”

The murmurs sounded like a thousand bees in his head. Slowly the colors began to focus. He closed his eyes for a moment hoping that would help ease the pain piercing his left temple. He felt all his senses were numb and sensitive at the same time, if that was even possible. All his eyes could see was white with small hints of color. His tongue tasted bland. He felt someone holding his head. He smelled the scent of candies he used to eat when he was young.

The last thought made him stop. He looked up at the person holding on to his head. The colors and shapes focused and he sees her smiling back at him, tears rolling down her face. Was this still part of the dream?

Slowly, a sound rolls out of his lips. She nods acknowledging her name.

Overcome with happiness, he realized now 3 things. The dream is over. Death has been overcome, even if it is just for now. Destiny has now taken place.


Author Notes
True story. Late last December, I woke up one morning remembering the dream I had just a couple of minutes earlier. In that dream, I met a girl I have never seen in my life, yet in that dream, apparently she was supposed to be THE ONE.

The dream reminded me of this comic I read. It was Kurt Busiek's Astro City ½. The story I wrote is actually a cheap rip-off of that issue (hehehe even used the same title, so sue me!).

Anyway, before I knew it, I started typing away on Aki’s trusty old laptop and tried concocting my version of an old glee man’s tale. I actually wrote the first 2/3rds of this story in 2 days. Actually finished it just 2 nights back. Somehow, I didn’t know how to end it. Eventually, I decided to flip a coin to help me decide what destiny I give to the hero.

Much like the first story I wrote, I used Neil Gaiman’s Endless again. Thanks Neil!.

I also keep mentioning the first story, here’s the link<[link] just in case this write-up roused curiosity *grin*.